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I don't sleep.
I haven't been able to sleep for more than three or four hours for several years.
I can go to sleep, but then I wake up and it is all over.
So, what does one do with all of those extra hours? That is a good question, and really, that is THE question.
I have had the concept of positive obsession as my theme throughout my posts here and that really is my saving grace in this situation. By consciously looking for positive things to focus on I have been able to stay out of many potentially destructive situations. The details are irrelevant. The idea is to focus on challenging, diverting and educational pursuits.
WARNING! Don't go outside and trim the trees at 3:00 A.M. I know from experience that the neighbors (not to mention the missus) will not appreciate it. I haven't gotten hate-mail but I have found hate-grass clippings in my yard.
Here are some things to avoid;
Bars
This one is pretty obvious. Drinking actually exacerbates sleeping disorders.
Visiting friends.
Don't show up at someone's house at 2:00. They will disown you for waking them up. If they aren't asleep at that time of the night, they will disown you for interrupting.
All-night restaurants.
You would be surprised at how much trouble you can find here. If you think about it, most people you encounter will not be there for the same reasons you are.
Any activity that generates noise.
Here come the grass-clippings again! It can also be illegal. AVOID.
Cruising.
Getting in your car and going is not a good idea. Your mind always has an agenda. You may not consciously be looking for anything, but your mind always has a plan. Be in charge.
I have purposely avoided discussing some things explicitly, but this isn't rocket science here. You KNOW what I am talking about. My Grandmother used to say, "Don't borrow trouble. It's a full-time job dealing with your own".
The bottom line is THINK! Do things on purpose. Be in charge. Don't let your need to fill the hours pull you into things that you would not otherwise do.
Read. Start a new hobby or dust off an old one. Look for things that have a low price tag and a steep learning curve. Start an online business (there really IS money to be made). You can work at any time of the day or night and IT'S QUIET!
Obsess over good things, positive things.
Practice Positive Obsession!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
EARTHQUAKE!!!
It may not be big in other parts of the country, but here in the Central U.S. 4.5 is pretty big. I was in our basement and I felt the ground move. This is a big deal for Oklahoma.
Pumpkin is one of my goldfish. I would say "our" goldfish, but she is really mine. I can go on about that topic but... another time.
Pumpkin got a body sore about three weeks ago. when I found it the sore was just a couple of millimeters across. Now it is the size of a dime. For a goldfish that is just under 6 inches long, that is HUGE.
I did the research and antibiotics was suggested. I started with using a concentration of salt and some natural medicine instead. That didn't work. Took me about a week to figure that out. The sore gets bigger. I have some Tetracycline that you simply pour into the tank, so I tried that. No good. The sore gets bigger. I move on to another antibiotic that goes in the tank with no luck again. Now I am up to penicillin injections. No, really! I have given her two so far about 24 hours apart. There seems to be some improvement, but for a sore that size.. Well, we will see.
Pumpkin got a body sore about three weeks ago. when I found it the sore was just a couple of millimeters across. Now it is the size of a dime. For a goldfish that is just under 6 inches long, that is HUGE.
I did the research and antibiotics was suggested. I started with using a concentration of salt and some natural medicine instead. That didn't work. Took me about a week to figure that out. The sore gets bigger. I have some Tetracycline that you simply pour into the tank, so I tried that. No good. The sore gets bigger. I move on to another antibiotic that goes in the tank with no luck again. Now I am up to penicillin injections. No, really! I have given her two so far about 24 hours apart. There seems to be some improvement, but for a sore that size.. Well, we will see.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Another Hobby
The fish thing is still going strong. I went on this acquisition spree and now have 11 tanks set up. They range from 75 gallon. down to 2 gallons.
But that's not the subject here.
My father handed over his coin collection to me when I was about 16. Over the years I have added to it and sold off some of the coins when I needed money. I pulled it out of the closet about a year ago and have found myself completely immersed like never before.
My original goal was to upgrade my father's Lincoln penny collection to all uncirculated coins and catch the set up to the current year. I have sense completed a Kennedy half dollar set and have started on several other sets. My favorite is the new satin coins. My goal is to put together a set of the Satin Lincolns that are certified and in SP69 condition. Many of the coins in this set have no higher quality coin. In other words, I am attempting to put together a set of the highest quality coins in existence. My goal was to pay no more than $50.00, and for the most part I have followed that price guide.
Early on I found myself in a manic episode and started this buying spree on eBay. I was bidding on stuff that I already had. I didn't occur to me that there was anything wrong for a while. In the end, I was getting 5 or so packages in the mail EVERY DAY. I believe that the mania was triggered by my wife having surgery. We were in the hospital for 3 or 4 days and I got little if any sleep during that time. Stress and lack of sleep are triggers with someone with Bi-Polar Disorder.
I consider my hobbies my lifeline. They keep me sane and they keep me alive. I tell my wife that they are a survival tactic. In a very real way, this is the truth. I just need to figure out that thing called moderation. I know the word, I have looked it up, I know the definition. I just don't get it.
But that's not the subject here.
My father handed over his coin collection to me when I was about 16. Over the years I have added to it and sold off some of the coins when I needed money. I pulled it out of the closet about a year ago and have found myself completely immersed like never before.
My original goal was to upgrade my father's Lincoln penny collection to all uncirculated coins and catch the set up to the current year. I have sense completed a Kennedy half dollar set and have started on several other sets. My favorite is the new satin coins. My goal is to put together a set of the Satin Lincolns that are certified and in SP69 condition. Many of the coins in this set have no higher quality coin. In other words, I am attempting to put together a set of the highest quality coins in existence. My goal was to pay no more than $50.00, and for the most part I have followed that price guide.
Early on I found myself in a manic episode and started this buying spree on eBay. I was bidding on stuff that I already had. I didn't occur to me that there was anything wrong for a while. In the end, I was getting 5 or so packages in the mail EVERY DAY. I believe that the mania was triggered by my wife having surgery. We were in the hospital for 3 or 4 days and I got little if any sleep during that time. Stress and lack of sleep are triggers with someone with Bi-Polar Disorder.
I consider my hobbies my lifeline. They keep me sane and they keep me alive. I tell my wife that they are a survival tactic. In a very real way, this is the truth. I just need to figure out that thing called moderation. I know the word, I have looked it up, I know the definition. I just don't get it.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Final Chapter
One of our favorite past times (my wife and me) is to go garage sailing. We pulled up to one in a less-than-promising neighborhood and found a very nice 65 gallon aquarium setup for $75.00. This tank had everything from the lighting fixture to a very expensive filtration system. I offered $65.00 and I was the proud owner of the new home of Wonder.
Took it home set it up, having a great time just with the experience. I like to put things together and setting up a tank is like a puzzle, but you can put the pieces where you want.
Wonder's first day was miraculous. She swam back and forth in the tank, staying oriented right side up for most of the time.
She was dead within 24 hours.
I have other goldfish in that tank. I don't think it was the water or the setup or anything that I did wrong. I think she just died happy.
I would just assume keep it that way.
Took it home set it up, having a great time just with the experience. I like to put things together and setting up a tank is like a puzzle, but you can put the pieces where you want.
Wonder's first day was miraculous. She swam back and forth in the tank, staying oriented right side up for most of the time.
She was dead within 24 hours.
I have other goldfish in that tank. I don't think it was the water or the setup or anything that I did wrong. I think she just died happy.
I would just assume keep it that way.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
We named her Wonder
I walked in and told the guy that the request was going to sound weird, but I wanted him to give me the sick fish. He immediately said yes and went to get a bag. He hem-hawed around about not seeing how distressed she was. I nodded and smiled for the time it took him to finish the job and then I took her home.
The hospital tank was a 10 gallon with two power filters, an air stone and no gravel. The first treatment was an antibiotic (yes, Virginia they have antibiotics for fish). After that treatment she was showing signs of parasites, so it was another 4 day treatment.
After that I concentrated on regular water changes and supplemental ammonia scrubbers and establishing a good bacterial filtration system. Since the tank was relatively small, I wanted water conditions to be as close to optimal as possible.
Wonder, the Rescue Fish spent most of her time upside down on the bottom of the tank. It seemed very difficult for her to right herself and get off the bottom, but she managed it.
Ancillary information; within two days of her coming home she started changing colors. Large black patches started growing across her body and continued till the day she died. At the last she was 50% black. She started as pure red. My research indicated that it was a sign of healing. I guess I will never know.
The hospital tank was a 10 gallon with two power filters, an air stone and no gravel. The first treatment was an antibiotic (yes, Virginia they have antibiotics for fish). After that treatment she was showing signs of parasites, so it was another 4 day treatment.
After that I concentrated on regular water changes and supplemental ammonia scrubbers and establishing a good bacterial filtration system. Since the tank was relatively small, I wanted water conditions to be as close to optimal as possible.
Wonder, the Rescue Fish spent most of her time upside down on the bottom of the tank. It seemed very difficult for her to right herself and get off the bottom, but she managed it.
Ancillary information; within two days of her coming home she started changing colors. Large black patches started growing across her body and continued till the day she died. At the last she was 50% black. She started as pure red. My research indicated that it was a sign of healing. I guess I will never know.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
A moment of silence
Wonder the Rescue Fish is dead.
This obsession started a couple of months ago when I was visiting a local Mom and Pop Aquarium shop. I needed some supplies for my goldfish tank and thought I would look around before I got what I needed.
That is when I saw Wonder.
She (my wife said she was definitely female) was upside down in a large tank that was filled with dead and dying goldfish. Some of the fish had been dead for days, considering their current state of decomposition. She would, from time to time, do nose spins trying to get off of the bottom of the tank.
I left.
When I got home, sitting in front of the TV, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was a large Ryukin, gold in color, with most of her tail fins eaten off. Still, she had my heart. She had a look of nobility about her that I couldn't get away from.
I went back to the store.
This obsession started a couple of months ago when I was visiting a local Mom and Pop Aquarium shop. I needed some supplies for my goldfish tank and thought I would look around before I got what I needed.
That is when I saw Wonder.
She (my wife said she was definitely female) was upside down in a large tank that was filled with dead and dying goldfish. Some of the fish had been dead for days, considering their current state of decomposition. She would, from time to time, do nose spins trying to get off of the bottom of the tank.
I left.
When I got home, sitting in front of the TV, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was a large Ryukin, gold in color, with most of her tail fins eaten off. Still, she had my heart. She had a look of nobility about her that I couldn't get away from.
I went back to the store.
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